Stillness

It seems that if we let it, the World could be just utter chaos. I woke this morning to the news of the tornados hitting south east Virginia, the devastation the storm left in its path. Knowing that just a few days ago, that same storm came through the city I live in. My phone rang yesterday; it was a person close to me telling me his Mother had passed away. My email box seems more full than usual. In the midst of a chaotic world, I offer you a poem that I wrote a number of years ago, reminding me that in every moment we have the power of choice, chaos or stillness. I choose stillness. The funny thing about that, in the stillness I can feel the Mothers presence. I can feel the calm of the storm. My email box no longer matters it will be dealt with in due time efficiently and swiftly. Ah the power of stillness.

The Taste of Stillness
[March 12, 2005]

Whiteness Everywhere.
Snow on every branch and still falling silently.
On my face – gentle magical kisses.
The water, once with motion, now frozen solid - white - still - quiet.
Like a blanket of safety and warmth.
The air also motionless yet so crisp and clean.
Delicious stillness yet tasteless.

Our world, each of us, could use to find more delicious stillness.
The paradox is we walk around with it each day in our hearts.
Stop and taste stillness.

It is our guiding light, our home, our heart whispering… No, begging us to stop and taste.
Everything, yet nothing at all.
True, innocent, love and light.
The taste of stillness.
Listen.

- Lorin

Standing Firm in our Power

Life is not that simple… some days we feel powerful and other days someone says something to us that throws us off our center we feel like burting into tears. So how do we stay more consistently in our power?

I remember a new sales person that started working for me years ago - I just adored her (still do to this day), she was so sensitive to getting rejected as a sales person, we used to joke about being more ‘thick skinned’ but being a very sensitive person myself – I understood her sensitivity.

And now, she has been in sales for about 10 years! She is still sensitive but taking less and less so personally and standing more and more in her power. So how did she get here?

First, it is important to know that feelings do matter and they should never throw you into action. When this happens to me, I always get myself into trouble! I do things I do not want to do - stupid things! The other day I my husband and I got into a tiff at dinner, I, who LOVES food, said, 'I do not need dinner' and got up from the table. - was that stupid!? I wanted dinner!

You have heard many people say, ‘this is business it is not personal or emotional.’ But the truth is, it is personal and emotional! The difference is, as women, we need to address our emotions separately than our actions! It is when we allow the two to drive each other that we get ourselves in trouble.

So how do we address emotions… here are some ways I do it:
o Write
o Journal
o Talk to a friend or coach who will not let you go on and on and on – but listen for a 5-10 minutes and stay – ok you have had enough… what do you have to be grateful for?
o Get outside and be in nature, be in the wonder of trees, flowers, water, birds, etc.
o Take a break, and just breathe for 5 minutes – nothing more, nothing less
o Read a page from your favorite authors book – just open it up and see what he/she has to say in that moment

Once we do one of the suggestions above now we can step into grounded action. This type of action is the bold and impactful kind that moves us foward and has us stand firm in our power.

Women are we tired of being victims? STOP!

As I watch the news the past 48 hours Elliot Spitzer’s wife’s face is a face that is all too familiar. She seems to have the same face that the New Jersey governor’s wife had as she stood by his side, when he publicly admitted to his affair with another man…. It the face of a victim. Don’t get me wrong, these women have every right to feel betrayed, mistrust, etc. But they are not victims.

My mother said it to me best yesterday, What if Elliot’s wife, Slida, stood up and said to the press the other day: Listen, I am not ok with what Elliot did but betrayal happens in relationships and we will work it out, this is a personal issue. Whatever the outcome, he has a job to do he needs to do it and like every family, work goes on as we work on our personal issues. If she said that, what would be different now? We can only speculate.

So many times we, women, we allow ourselves to step into victim mode and we give up our power over to other people. The moment we step into that victim role, we are done. Done standing in what is possible for us with this situation….

I ask myself why does this irk me so?!

If I was honest about it, it is because there are places in my life that I allow the ‘victim’ to come alive and as I write this, I give her up!

The powerful question here is: What would it look like to stand in our power AND feel betrayed (no matter if we are men or women)?

Because I believe we can have both and this is the most powerful place to stand, where we make the most impact on our lives and the lives of others.

Where are you willing to give up being victim?

Listen to this moments message

We are in the 3rd month of the first quarter…. Where are your goals? At this stage of the goal process many folks are often already feeling behind the 8 ball. We have fallen into old patterns and feeling the ‘same-old, same-old’. And guaranteed if we keep doing what we are doing we will not reach those 2008 goals. We will bump into the glass ceiling once again. So this is the time to change behaviors and that is easier said than done. Because behaviors come from beliefs… so ask yourself what are beliefs that I live with that have me keep doing the same things over and over and over. How do we create new beliefs in order to change behaviors?
Ah the million dollar question! The answer, become more and more aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions! Keep asking yourself, ‘is this what I really need to be doing for myself and my business?’ You see, a Big Fish is ‘an awakened entrepreneur.’ What does this mean? Someone that is conscious or awakening to their own growth and power. This is a process. We do not one day wake up but begin to ‘awaken.’ I find that the more I master the big fish principles and get very aware of the power of each moment the more successful I am.
I had a huge awareness today. I had a dream last night, it was probably the worst dream I have ever had in my life. One of those dreams that really shakes you up upon waking…. And 2 people contacted me today and made reference to the exact ‘video’ that I dreamt about… which REALLY gave me goose bumps… I had to ask myself what is this dream REALLY about? When sitting with this question. What I realized was, it was guiding me to take one of the boldest actions I have ever taken in my current business… make a commitment to a vision like I have never done before. The work that it is pointing me to is probably the most important work I have done to date. Sometimes such ‘dreams’ come to us and we do not take the time to ‘ask what is life asking of us?’ – and we miss the message. Slow down and listen to the messages that life is whispering to you…. Or shouting!

OK Women.... its time

I am curious how many people reading this blog are business women that are juggling it all.... a business, a partner, kids, a life!, staying in good health, time to take the dog for a walk, and go out and have a cocktail with friends now and then too?? If you are reading this and 'one of those women' - PLEASE LET ME KNOW. So, how do you do it all? I believe that we are doing it all... and interestingly enough - we are complaining about it rather than wallowing in the fact that holy moly, we are able to have it all. I was on the radio yesterday with Kathryn Zox, her show as her co-host, and we were talking about how the current baby boomers - when asked how we are, always feel the need to justify how busy we are and all that we are doing. What if next time someone asks that question of us - we could honestly answer - 'I AM GREAT AND I AM ENJOYING MY DAY!' Wanna be a Big Fish :)

Happy New Year 2008!

Well, a New Year is upon us.... and what does that mean if you are a Big Fish? It means your visions need to be dusted off.... if they are not already. And your goals need to be written down, if they are not already. You see each year is an inspiration to fine tune our visions or change it drastically (your choice). And every year is another opportunity to set goals that inspire us to live fully! So, are you ready to be a Big Fish in 2008?

Goal Setting

Some one asked me this morning, 'Sell me on your Goal Setting Teleclass' - I realized that I take this annual teleclass for granted. This program over the years has become more and more powerful. Until now, most of us go into the new year 'hoping' that we will make the new year the best one yet. But we do nothing different to make it great. What this teleclass does is:

Gives you the structure to think about your year in 8 main areas of your life. You actually write down what you want to accomplish in each of those areas. We use our 'famous' Big Fish one page goal setting plan. And then we walk you through the process of setting real intention as well. For the first time, I bet, you will have a document that is simple and inspiring that will encourage bold action throughout the year. During our teleclass you will hear about real stories about magical moments and great manifestations from doing this simple process -- yet often daunting for folks when they try to do it on their own. In addition you receive a 1/2 hour coaching session with the founder of Big Fish and the goal of this time is to customize this process to you! We want you EXCITED about going into 2008 with a vision about what is possible for you in the next 12 months. We only are allowing 20 women business owners into the teleclass, are you one??

Here is one real story of a 'Big Fish' who has gone through this process a few years in a row. She called me the other day... I remember a number of years ago, she was sobbing, the electric company shut off her electricity. The other day, she called me giddy! Her business was booming, she owns 2 houses and living on a lake in a 'hot spot' and just built her business to a new level where she truly is in a leadership position. If you could hear her laugh, you would say, 'I want what she is having!' This woman, diligently set her goals each week, each month, each year and worked the plan with me... some weeks were harder than others and other weeks she had great successes to share. But she has transformed her life in every way. Her businesses are wild successes!

Are you ready for wild success? Join us for our Goal Setting Teleclass.
Lorin

Big Fish Principle #3

"People of character do the right thing, not because they think it will change the world but because they refuse to be changed by the world." Actor and Author of Michael Josephson

So what are 3 tips to not get changed by the world?
1. Know who you are.
2. Be kind no matter what... you can be direct, but be kind.
3. Remember that everyone has there own 'stuff''

Living consciously

I love this quote by Sidney Poitier, "Living consciously involves being genuine; it involves listening and responding to others honestly and openly; it involves being in the moment." As a Big Fish, we feel this quality or trait is at the crux of being a Big Fish: Living Consciously. And by living this way, we enjoy each other more, we can take bolder actions, we can speak to people authentically. I met a women last night who, as she was leaving, gave me such a genuine complement... and acknowledged that she believes if she thinks it, she should speak it to the other person making for 'real acknowledgement' or 'real communication.' What a breathe of fresh air when we are able to 'be real' in all aspects of our lives. Where is it time to be more real in your life?

Success

Yesterday I watched an interview that Meredith Vieira did with Donald Trump. He has a new book out, "Think Big and Kick Ass" - I imagine if you're in any way like me, the interview turned you off. I felt that the way he was suggesting to be successful is that you have to be arrogant, mean, not trust anyone and put yourself in a box that makes you better than anyone you come in contact with. I know that there is a way to be tolerant, compassionate, supportive, and successful! We have Big Fish doing every day! Who else do you know that is successful and compassionate, trusting, supportive and empowering?