Standing Firm in our Power

Life is not that simple… some days we feel powerful and other days someone says something to us that throws us off our center we feel like burting into tears. So how do we stay more consistently in our power?

I remember a new sales person that started working for me years ago - I just adored her (still do to this day), she was so sensitive to getting rejected as a sales person, we used to joke about being more ‘thick skinned’ but being a very sensitive person myself – I understood her sensitivity.

And now, she has been in sales for about 10 years! She is still sensitive but taking less and less so personally and standing more and more in her power. So how did she get here?

First, it is important to know that feelings do matter and they should never throw you into action. When this happens to me, I always get myself into trouble! I do things I do not want to do - stupid things! The other day I my husband and I got into a tiff at dinner, I, who LOVES food, said, 'I do not need dinner' and got up from the table. - was that stupid!? I wanted dinner!

You have heard many people say, ‘this is business it is not personal or emotional.’ But the truth is, it is personal and emotional! The difference is, as women, we need to address our emotions separately than our actions! It is when we allow the two to drive each other that we get ourselves in trouble.

So how do we address emotions… here are some ways I do it:
o Write
o Journal
o Talk to a friend or coach who will not let you go on and on and on – but listen for a 5-10 minutes and stay – ok you have had enough… what do you have to be grateful for?
o Get outside and be in nature, be in the wonder of trees, flowers, water, birds, etc.
o Take a break, and just breathe for 5 minutes – nothing more, nothing less
o Read a page from your favorite authors book – just open it up and see what he/she has to say in that moment

Once we do one of the suggestions above now we can step into grounded action. This type of action is the bold and impactful kind that moves us foward and has us stand firm in our power.

Women are we tired of being victims? STOP!

As I watch the news the past 48 hours Elliot Spitzer’s wife’s face is a face that is all too familiar. She seems to have the same face that the New Jersey governor’s wife had as she stood by his side, when he publicly admitted to his affair with another man…. It the face of a victim. Don’t get me wrong, these women have every right to feel betrayed, mistrust, etc. But they are not victims.

My mother said it to me best yesterday, What if Elliot’s wife, Slida, stood up and said to the press the other day: Listen, I am not ok with what Elliot did but betrayal happens in relationships and we will work it out, this is a personal issue. Whatever the outcome, he has a job to do he needs to do it and like every family, work goes on as we work on our personal issues. If she said that, what would be different now? We can only speculate.

So many times we, women, we allow ourselves to step into victim mode and we give up our power over to other people. The moment we step into that victim role, we are done. Done standing in what is possible for us with this situation….

I ask myself why does this irk me so?!

If I was honest about it, it is because there are places in my life that I allow the ‘victim’ to come alive and as I write this, I give her up!

The powerful question here is: What would it look like to stand in our power AND feel betrayed (no matter if we are men or women)?

Because I believe we can have both and this is the most powerful place to stand, where we make the most impact on our lives and the lives of others.

Where are you willing to give up being victim?

Listen to this moments message

We are in the 3rd month of the first quarter…. Where are your goals? At this stage of the goal process many folks are often already feeling behind the 8 ball. We have fallen into old patterns and feeling the ‘same-old, same-old’. And guaranteed if we keep doing what we are doing we will not reach those 2008 goals. We will bump into the glass ceiling once again. So this is the time to change behaviors and that is easier said than done. Because behaviors come from beliefs… so ask yourself what are beliefs that I live with that have me keep doing the same things over and over and over. How do we create new beliefs in order to change behaviors?
Ah the million dollar question! The answer, become more and more aware of your thoughts, feelings and actions! Keep asking yourself, ‘is this what I really need to be doing for myself and my business?’ You see, a Big Fish is ‘an awakened entrepreneur.’ What does this mean? Someone that is conscious or awakening to their own growth and power. This is a process. We do not one day wake up but begin to ‘awaken.’ I find that the more I master the big fish principles and get very aware of the power of each moment the more successful I am.
I had a huge awareness today. I had a dream last night, it was probably the worst dream I have ever had in my life. One of those dreams that really shakes you up upon waking…. And 2 people contacted me today and made reference to the exact ‘video’ that I dreamt about… which REALLY gave me goose bumps… I had to ask myself what is this dream REALLY about? When sitting with this question. What I realized was, it was guiding me to take one of the boldest actions I have ever taken in my current business… make a commitment to a vision like I have never done before. The work that it is pointing me to is probably the most important work I have done to date. Sometimes such ‘dreams’ come to us and we do not take the time to ‘ask what is life asking of us?’ – and we miss the message. Slow down and listen to the messages that life is whispering to you…. Or shouting!